by C.R. Cramp

One of the earliest punk bands in Colorado; a colorful crew of musical anarchists from Boulder featuring Ultra Vulture on bass, David Berkowitz on guitar, and Connie Clit or Total Beatoff on drums. They were a mainstay on the local Colorado scene throughout the late 70's. In 1979, the Dancing Assholes with the Profalactics founded the Student Musicians Union of Tomorrow (S.M.U.T.), an official University club, which enabled the bands to get free rehearsal and perfomance space in the Football Stadium, as well as expose C.U. students and younger kids to live punk rock.

Below is an interview with the band where I basically wrote down whatever they told me, which appeared in the second issue of "Not New Wave News" The article shows how local bands all knew each other.

"The Dancing Assholes were sitting in front of Tulagi's (an all-ages  Boulder nightclub on the hill) one night, turning people away - their show was canceled. Since 3/5 of the band was there it seemed like a good time to do the "Dancing Assholes interview".

You may have heard them. You have probably heard of them. People get upset at the mere mention of their name. (They have my vote for the best name of a local band.) But that's because they accomplish what they set out to do. The Dancing Assholes are one of the few bands that get better every time they play or change members. The group was anxious to tell me their story.

Two Boulderites, bassist, Ultra Vulture, and guitarist, David Berkowitz (Editor note: named after a serial killer), originated the band in the summer of 1977. Vulture played folk and jazz bass with various groups, including a Jesus folk band when she was about 14. David Berkowitz played trombone in his high school band. He bought his first guitar from Jon Cormany (now of the Corvairs) when the Ravers left town. They were soon join by Connie Clit on drums. Their minimal equipment included a tiny 15 watt amp which drove the bass and two mics. "Kronos" or "Sir Tacos" was the first lead singer; a grad student of history and philosophy of science. He dressed very neat and Ivy League in a suit though "always the same suit". He vanished mysteriously one day. Rumor has it that he was running from the Feds. At this time the DAs were rehearsing in Berkowitz's apartment, and this resulted in their motto: "We can turn it down, but we can't stop". Another of the early lead singers was Peter Plasma, a street person named after the way he supported himself. Some of these trial band members lasted as long as two weeks, and "some even practiced with the band. They included John Greenway, now keyboard player for The Healers.

In March 1978, Cretin (rhythm guitar) joined the band. Well, never officially joined, just keeps showing up. The rest of the DAs refer to him as "the thing that came to dinner". At one time, he was a coffeehouse folk-singer/songwriter. He likes Jerry Jeff and Bill Cosby records.

The DAs debuted at University of Colorado (C.U.) boxing match. They managed to get through about one number. Later they played at the White Mule with the Dirty Dogs (Accelerators), and Jonny III (their debut). The Assholes had seven rolling TVs on stage in case anyone wanted to see "Saturday Night Live". Connie Clit left shortly after this and joined the all-girl Profalactics and was replaced by drummer Total Beatoff.

He met what he calls "the short people" at a C.U. election where the band was tearing down posters. He claims his life went downhill after that. Beatoff had been a roadie. Now he's still a roadie for his own band. Beatoff helped the DAs accumulate equipment as fast as they change band members. He found a Bogen antique amp at a flea market for five dollars. The band also has a home-built PA, a school bus, and a flatbed truck for those hit and run gigs, and a 130 watt RMS custom bass amp, that was designed for them by Howard Davidson, a computer designer, and is still being built. Beatoff's mother was a drummer for the "Downstate Illinois Municipal Dance Band" [Editor note: I can't find this band but feel free to check out this interesting Illinois music site]. He recently sawed off the third finger of one hand.